PSYCHOSEXUAL THERAPY
Whether you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual or transgender, if you are experiencing problems or difficulties in your sexual relationship, our psychosexual therapists can help you resolve them.
The following are some of the problems we address:
Breakdown in a couple's sexual relationship
Loss of sexual desire
Painful intercourse
Difficulties with orgasm
Arousal disorders
Erectile dysfunction
Premature or delayed ejaculation
If a couple were to come to a psychosexual therapist they would typically be asked to engage in a behavioural programme aimed to increase physical and emotional intimacy. The first step of this programme is that penetrative sex is off the menu and the couple are asked to carry out a gentle touching exercise. The focus here is on sensuality and the purpose of a sex and genital touching ban is that this reduces performance pressure and allows the couple to just be together without thinking about ‘what next’. The therapist would normally ask for the exercises to be carried out 2-3 times per week and they are approximately an hour in length. Psychosexual therapy therefore would be difficult for couples currently in a long distance relationship or for couples who feel it is impossible to have 3 hours a week of interrupted time together.
However it is worth considering that the impossibility of spending time together is likely to be the issue in itself. Couples often find that by working together to find the time for the exercises their sense of intimacy increases because they are both prioritising the relationship in a way that they might not have done for a long time. The behavioural programme that the couple will work through is called the Sensate Programme and it would be tailored to their needs with their therapist. This programme is not goal orientated it is simply about increasing intimacy and it will have techniques for managing particular dysfunctions worked into it.
Inevitably this behavioural programme will stir up emotions; some couples find the exercises surprisingly moving and are shocked by the intensity of feeling that they stir up while others might struggle to even do the exercises, whatever emotions occur as a result of the programme can be thought about within the therapy.
Psychosexual therapy can provide a space to think about sex in a safe and non-judgemental environment. Very often in psychosexual therapy the couple are set physical exercises as part of the therapeutic process. When there are sexual problems within a relationship the partners often resort to avoiding any physical intimacy for fear it might lead to sex and avoid talking about sex for fear it might lead to an argument. For many couples just sitting and thinking about the physical relationship alongside a therapist can release so much of this built up pressure. Couples and individuals who are experiencing sexual difficulties can feel very isolated because sex can also be a taboo topic between families and friends; it can be a huge relief not only to share their story, but also to have a therapist who is able to work with them to build the intimacy back into the relationship in a way the keeps in mind both partner’s needs and desires.